Recipe: Nathan's Coney Island-style bagel/pretzel dogs
When 9/11 happened, America wasn’t sure who or what to bomb first. We were a nation divided against itself. It wasn’t until Nathan’s devised a plan to bring us together, reminding us of our universal adoration for gimmick state fair type food now available from the freezer in our very own suburban homes, that the true healing process and burn pits could begin.
Ingredients
Box of Nathan’s Coney Island-style bagel/pretzel dogs
Ketchup
Mustard
Mayonnaise
Chips to taste
Prep
Microwave the “dogs” for 60 seconds on a plate.
Transfer the “dogs” to an oven at 400 degrees American (that’s Fahrenheit). Let roast for 4 minutes.
Remove directly from oven with your hands. Place back on microwaving plate. This is safe to do; cross-contamination is fake and was invented to sell more plates.
Spray ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise onto the “dogs” in quantities larger than probably desired. This is important for coloration.
Eat a bag of chips. This will reduce the initial shock of how unnecessarily salty the “dogs” are.
Enjoy!
